30 zzz's has taught me these

I have been feeling sickly. My stomach is whiney, my skin looks terrible, my legs ache and my head is throbbing and I am tired. Tired as hell. Like cannot get up and exercise. Cannot get up in time to get ready for work. I say this not to feel sorry for myself. I say this because I have been racking my brain to figure out why. What is going on with me internally and out? And finally today I know. I HAVE been feeling sorry for myself. I have not been living my life right. Treating my body like I should treat it. Like many posts before, I have been eating crappy food, drinking too much and busting my body to perform physically when I am not giving it what I should. Basically I have been doing this to myself.

I also have been sitting around whining. Whining about people I dont know. Things I dont do. Places I dont go. Whaaa whaaa whahahaha. Lame. Done. over it.

I have decided to do what I want to do and to be who I want to be I need to live how I want. Here is how that will go.

1. I have decided to give up drinking. For 30 days at least to start. No alcohol. No alcohol at dinner, friends houses, sitting on my porch, when I am sad, when I am partying, at the club/bar/tiki hut etc etc. No alcohol of any kind.
I did pour out the wine I had and then i felt bad about all the money I have spent on alcohol-another reason to not drink- and kept the beer and liquor in the fridge. Going to save it. Not for me. no no no. for others. I am strong. 30 days...evaluation at the end to see how I feel.

2. Do a 7 day cleanse I found here from the beautiful Gweneth Paltrow: http://goop.com/newsletter/15/
Plan to start this on Saturday. Get the supplies Friday and Sat-Fri CLEAN ME OUT!
I feel this one may be hard. With the running schedule I am (cough) should be on. But, Saturday is an 8-9 miler and then start. I liked this cleanse because it wasnt just drink lemon water. yuck. I feel I will be hungry. but, it will only be 7 days.

3. Eat better when this cleanse is over. Salt is wretched! and I feel I consume way too much. Who doesnt. I think this will go hand in hand with the no drinking. No making late night runs to fast food establishments. I usually crave chips and salsa with my beer too..no mas! Well, not multiple nights a week.

4. Be more social. NOw here is the part I need to be better at. The thing is I was. I love talking to people. Love meeting new people and doing new things. However, lately I have been feeling like nobody wants to talk to me. Whaaa! thats the cry again. poor poor me. Yes they do. I just have to own who I am. AND I have to get better about talking to people sober. the 30sleep blog made some sweet points about just saying hi to people. I am a damn professional at that when I am drinking. And I was so good at it in college when I was sober too. Now. I can do it. Just say hi. Who cares how they respond. Probably they will say hey back! and who knows. I may meet a new pal.

5. Be positive and thankful. Particularly where I work. I thought today that I hated my job. NO I dont. I love it. I love seeing people improve. I just have not been challenging myself in it. I am an excellent speech therapist. Well. Somedays. and I know that I can think of great ideas and really move my profession forward. I just have to work at it and try harder. Not be such a slack ass.

6. Make schedules for all my eating and working out. But not be afraid to break them.- ocassionally.
I am proud of my body. I know it can look fitter though. That has a TON to do with number one and three. Here is a confession. I think this is why I am feeling really shitty. I started taking Healthe trim. That shit does not react well to my body. At all! I took it before and got sick and now look...wtf did I expect. some magic pill that would make me look like freakin megan fox? HA. so yeah. learned my damn lesson. I already sent one back. May send this one too. stupid me. I gotta take care of myself NATURALLY.

7. Money. manage it better and damn...somehow make it! I do have an Etsy page set up. But that is not realistic. Do I want my earrings to take off? YES. I have to not be afraid of rejection in that area and hop to it. ALready got contacts at some stores. Who knows...may be a hit!

8. See my family more. Period. I live in the same city, 8 miles away from them for petes sake. and my lil bro may be moving to NY. Now is the time. What have I been waiting for???
This goes hand in hand with another one
9. Go to church. I love being Catholic. I really do. IT is magical and my history. YEt, usually I am too hungover to go. well. not anymore. I am going to make it a priority to go this 30 days too. Maybe even during the week.... well see about that.

10. Love. Love me. Love my friends. Be a better friend. Call them. Show them I love them. Love my family. Make time for others. Realize that all this shit that I have bought is nothing. It can be blown away in a tornado. Burned in a fire. Destroyed in a flood. Taken in a robbery. But it can all be replaced. Family cannot. Friends cannot. I am thankful to have both and have both be truly wonderful.

Now I am beginning. Whining no more. Living every day. Saying Hi. Enjoying natural beautiful food. Drinking nourishing fluids. Smiling. Loving. Caring. Changing. Evolving.

Do it.