30 zzz's has taught me these

I have been feeling sickly. My stomach is whiney, my skin looks terrible, my legs ache and my head is throbbing and I am tired. Tired as hell. Like cannot get up and exercise. Cannot get up in time to get ready for work. I say this not to feel sorry for myself. I say this because I have been racking my brain to figure out why. What is going on with me internally and out? And finally today I know. I HAVE been feeling sorry for myself. I have not been living my life right. Treating my body like I should treat it. Like many posts before, I have been eating crappy food, drinking too much and busting my body to perform physically when I am not giving it what I should. Basically I have been doing this to myself.

I also have been sitting around whining. Whining about people I dont know. Things I dont do. Places I dont go. Whaaa whaaa whahahaha. Lame. Done. over it.

I have decided to do what I want to do and to be who I want to be I need to live how I want. Here is how that will go.

1. I have decided to give up drinking. For 30 days at least to start. No alcohol. No alcohol at dinner, friends houses, sitting on my porch, when I am sad, when I am partying, at the club/bar/tiki hut etc etc. No alcohol of any kind.
I did pour out the wine I had and then i felt bad about all the money I have spent on alcohol-another reason to not drink- and kept the beer and liquor in the fridge. Going to save it. Not for me. no no no. for others. I am strong. 30 days...evaluation at the end to see how I feel.

2. Do a 7 day cleanse I found here from the beautiful Gweneth Paltrow: http://goop.com/newsletter/15/
Plan to start this on Saturday. Get the supplies Friday and Sat-Fri CLEAN ME OUT!
I feel this one may be hard. With the running schedule I am (cough) should be on. But, Saturday is an 8-9 miler and then start. I liked this cleanse because it wasnt just drink lemon water. yuck. I feel I will be hungry. but, it will only be 7 days.

3. Eat better when this cleanse is over. Salt is wretched! and I feel I consume way too much. Who doesnt. I think this will go hand in hand with the no drinking. No making late night runs to fast food establishments. I usually crave chips and salsa with my beer too..no mas! Well, not multiple nights a week.

4. Be more social. NOw here is the part I need to be better at. The thing is I was. I love talking to people. Love meeting new people and doing new things. However, lately I have been feeling like nobody wants to talk to me. Whaaa! thats the cry again. poor poor me. Yes they do. I just have to own who I am. AND I have to get better about talking to people sober. the 30sleep blog made some sweet points about just saying hi to people. I am a damn professional at that when I am drinking. And I was so good at it in college when I was sober too. Now. I can do it. Just say hi. Who cares how they respond. Probably they will say hey back! and who knows. I may meet a new pal.

5. Be positive and thankful. Particularly where I work. I thought today that I hated my job. NO I dont. I love it. I love seeing people improve. I just have not been challenging myself in it. I am an excellent speech therapist. Well. Somedays. and I know that I can think of great ideas and really move my profession forward. I just have to work at it and try harder. Not be such a slack ass.

6. Make schedules for all my eating and working out. But not be afraid to break them.- ocassionally.
I am proud of my body. I know it can look fitter though. That has a TON to do with number one and three. Here is a confession. I think this is why I am feeling really shitty. I started taking Healthe trim. That shit does not react well to my body. At all! I took it before and got sick and now look...wtf did I expect. some magic pill that would make me look like freakin megan fox? HA. so yeah. learned my damn lesson. I already sent one back. May send this one too. stupid me. I gotta take care of myself NATURALLY.

7. Money. manage it better and damn...somehow make it! I do have an Etsy page set up. But that is not realistic. Do I want my earrings to take off? YES. I have to not be afraid of rejection in that area and hop to it. ALready got contacts at some stores. Who knows...may be a hit!

8. See my family more. Period. I live in the same city, 8 miles away from them for petes sake. and my lil bro may be moving to NY. Now is the time. What have I been waiting for???
This goes hand in hand with another one
9. Go to church. I love being Catholic. I really do. IT is magical and my history. YEt, usually I am too hungover to go. well. not anymore. I am going to make it a priority to go this 30 days too. Maybe even during the week.... well see about that.

10. Love. Love me. Love my friends. Be a better friend. Call them. Show them I love them. Love my family. Make time for others. Realize that all this shit that I have bought is nothing. It can be blown away in a tornado. Burned in a fire. Destroyed in a flood. Taken in a robbery. But it can all be replaced. Family cannot. Friends cannot. I am thankful to have both and have both be truly wonderful.

Now I am beginning. Whining no more. Living every day. Saying Hi. Enjoying natural beautiful food. Drinking nourishing fluids. Smiling. Loving. Caring. Changing. Evolving.

Do it.

My new favorite blogs:
http://atlanta.metblogs.com/

and

www.maigh.com

I have been looking for some Atlanta blogs for a while now. I love looking at fashion blogs. Most of them though highlight LA or NY. Atlanta definitely does have a style and fashion that rocks and is fashion forward. However, all the blogs that are out there are terrible and do not highlight what we southerners can flaunt.

These are not fashion blogs...but I love them. I do need to blog more.

Also. I started my Etsy page!!! yeah!

I thought it was spring... damn.

It is back to being cold and dreary. Boo. B. I had an amazing run this morning though in the wind and cold biting rain with A. Have you met A? No, well, she is my amazing friend from work. Running is our therapy session. We love it because it is just us, running through the city of the Braves bitching about everything and anything that comes to mind. This morning I was the one running my mouth. It was so needed and so loved by me. Hopefully by her too. Any-who it helped. We were sposed to be doing a long run, however the cold rain, really?? yeah we decided to hold on that until tomorrow, and just get in a nice leisurely jaunt.

The rest of today turned into the adventures of Rachel and Rose. We journeyed to the over on the Northside. It was beautiful and followed along Tanyard Creek, a site of one of the battles during the Civil War, which was lovely. I never knew this was in our city. I followed the trail until it ended in an apartment complex. Not sure where to go next, Rose and I headed back. I asked a few folks that were lingering in the dog park near the trail and they seemed to have no idea what the Beltline even was or that it was more than just this tiny trail area. That makes me sad because I know the Beltline concept could be amazing. Really disappointing that more people do not know about it or are supporting it because that would totally help get the commuter rail and all that is needed to increase its use. I would like to be more involved in that. I plan on loooking into it.

On a different note, I have fallen in love with blogs. More specifically, these blogs:




and
I think this one is freaking amazing.

Oh and I also enjoy this one because I think this woman is one of the best photographers ever.

So yes. Enjoy them whatever readers I have. You will not be disappointed.

So, now I am sitting on my couch with roomate and her boyfriend. Enjoying a movie, well, they are and I am day dreaming. Rose looks like she needs more adventure. Hmmmm....

Won't You Take Me to... Funky Town.

I feel funky lately. I dont really know how to explain it. I will sum it up in a few ways:
I feel:
out of sorts
uncomfortable with choices
lost
wanting
longing
smiling
peaceful
annoyed

That is really it. I know its odd to have peaceful in there, but I do in a way, which contributes to the oddness. I am not sure if it is because of this one thing or not, which I do not want to admit to myself that it could be, and I dont want to type it at all dagnabit, but... here it goes, I am wondering if it is from the fact that so many of my friends, my formally single friends, are pairing up. My roomate, one of my favorites from college is ENGAGED, super awesome for them both, my work friends...Makes it sad in a way to me that when I am invited it is ok, _______ and ______ are coming, _______ and _____________ and Rachel. Awesome.

Is that silly? Yes. I am mad at myself for saying it but it is truth. I want to be in a ______ and _________ combination. I want to be part of an and. Yes. But, it is not in my cards right now. I hope it is in the future. I would like to think of tiny onesies and cute pictures of my family, but I also dont want to get entirely hung up on that.

I am at peace with my life. I enjoy my home and my friends, even those who are not in the current relationship status as I (my avoidance of using single) and I like my job and all but I just feel ansy. I think this is my normal 1-2 year itch.

Thoughts are in my head to move. But I am not sure if moving would solve anything.

I do have a lot to look forward to this year. THis year that is my 30th on the planet. I am running the Portland Marathon in 7 months. EEEK. It will be my first and hopefully not my last. Which reminds me I need to seriously start looking at running groups. I am not so sure I can prep to run 26 miles solo. no no no. TALK TO ME!!! That and I hope to just stay in Portland and explore it for all it is worth for a week. Present to myself. I do think I would like to live there...so who knows! I have a few weddings to go party at and shake some major tail with my favorites, which seriously rocks my socks. I do not so love weddings, but the dancing yes.

That and I hope to do a lot for myself financially, like get out of the major whole under a ton of water that I have managed to get myself into. ick! I hate it. Time to change.

SO, that is it. That is me today. It is rainy and I am at my parents enjoying some comforts and quiet, (and doing some free laundry) :)

Hopefully the funkyness will leave by tonight. Happy March!

Thinking back on fantastic

I was walking around my neighborhood I grew up in today. It is becoming fall...well sort of. The tempature is more 90 and dryish than it is 99 and humid, so that counts for something! The breeze was blowing and it is one of those glorious days where it is almost too painful to be indoors. almost. I started thinking about Charleston and all the wonderful times me and Dillard, Mack, LP and I got into there. So wonderful, so amazing, so needing to return to that time. SO, I am going to post some pictures that it inspired me to look up. Pictures of a memories and times gone from grad school and the love for Charleston both.



Captain Ron. and his boat. Oh Suzanna!



Haha I really do not know Hee Haw!! funny. I think we were being a turtle from the aquarium...



I think this was near our end.... sad!



Eeek!! shoo man dont bother me!



Hahah Mackies parents dog, what was the dagum name? well, she ate all her gum. Even punched out the little foil pockets. Dogs are smart!



True pirates!!! Arrrgh!


There are so many more. I almost put the one of my "pn top" face bc it was toooooo funny. and Disgusting. Hence why it is not on here.

Sigh. Trips down memory lane truly are fab.

bye ya'll!

look at this stuff, isn't it neat?

I found out today that my cousins V and R's house burned down two early mornings ago. Horrifying! However, they all made it out alive. No alarms went off, just woke to smoke and heat. I cannot imagine. My initial reaction was joy that they were ok, but I am sad to admit it, but I thought about all the loss of their stuff. This kind of thing could happen to any one of us. In an instant. and its not really all that bad, house burning down and all. I mean dagum it is bad, but it really really could be worse. I think about all the patients in my hospital. whew!

Makes me think about stuff. We have all this stuff. But, it is so replaceable and really unnecessary. I remember staying over at their house and my cousin R telling me about all her furniture how it was her great grandmothers, and they had the most awesome rustic brown leather couch. Amazing table they made too from an old door. All replaceable yes. But still.

I try and I try to get rid of my stuff. I always find that I continue to accumulate. I would love to be rid of everything and just pack what I have into a Winnebago and hit the road. I wonder if I will ever be at that point?

I feel a need lately to post on here more often. not for anyone else but myself. I have no followers, except Dillard, whom I love, but I need to write so that I can get my creative thoughts and visions and dreams and beliefs out. Plus, I am becoming obsessed with other blogs. Today it is Pioneer Woman: Truly truly. Like cannot get enough. I think I have always loved a glimpse into other folks lives. and for this gal in particular, I have always loved and imagined living on a farm, yet feeling so connected in the city. She blogs about all that. It's really neato!

Well, from stuff gone to new stuff happennning, I hope I can post on here more often. Labor day has passed and a new year (school really, but new for me too) has come. Heres to truly loving and enjoying!

to travel you may need a pal

I am looking and may start interviewing for a travel companion. I love Rose, but she does not really talk back to me. I need someone to go to places near and far to explore and search out amazingness and fun. I am still seriously thinking about travel therapy next year, but that is a far off time to wait. Must travel now. I know what you are thinking... traveling is expensive Rachel. Yes. sometimes. But, that is why you need a pal. Cuts down on the cost. and I am all for camping and hostels. What do you say? I am going to Buffalo and Toronto in the fall, for my birthday to be exact. Dillard? I know you are reading this. Wanna come? Stay with Laurie? Travel to Toronto for the day? Play and giggle? Think on it.

PS: stoked about the MLB All Star game. Braves are really represented. Sadly Hayward is not on the list bc of an injury, but I am still so excited for Infante, Prado, McCann, and Hudson. WHOOOOO go boys!

and.... Kris Medlen is my new crush. Soooooo amazing on the field and in life, well seems like in this:
http://www.jezebelmagazine.com/MostEligible_Profile_2010.aspx?profile=11

shout out to this site: http://braveslove.blogspot.com/ they always are up on the Braves. Love it. Partic love the photos.

Ok mac and cheese night and the Bachelorette. Cheese ball but I love the corn of it all.