Won't You Take Me to... Funky Town.

I feel funky lately. I dont really know how to explain it. I will sum it up in a few ways:
I feel:
out of sorts
uncomfortable with choices
lost
wanting
longing
smiling
peaceful
annoyed

That is really it. I know its odd to have peaceful in there, but I do in a way, which contributes to the oddness. I am not sure if it is because of this one thing or not, which I do not want to admit to myself that it could be, and I dont want to type it at all dagnabit, but... here it goes, I am wondering if it is from the fact that so many of my friends, my formally single friends, are pairing up. My roomate, one of my favorites from college is ENGAGED, super awesome for them both, my work friends...Makes it sad in a way to me that when I am invited it is ok, _______ and ______ are coming, _______ and _____________ and Rachel. Awesome.

Is that silly? Yes. I am mad at myself for saying it but it is truth. I want to be in a ______ and _________ combination. I want to be part of an and. Yes. But, it is not in my cards right now. I hope it is in the future. I would like to think of tiny onesies and cute pictures of my family, but I also dont want to get entirely hung up on that.

I am at peace with my life. I enjoy my home and my friends, even those who are not in the current relationship status as I (my avoidance of using single) and I like my job and all but I just feel ansy. I think this is my normal 1-2 year itch.

Thoughts are in my head to move. But I am not sure if moving would solve anything.

I do have a lot to look forward to this year. THis year that is my 30th on the planet. I am running the Portland Marathon in 7 months. EEEK. It will be my first and hopefully not my last. Which reminds me I need to seriously start looking at running groups. I am not so sure I can prep to run 26 miles solo. no no no. TALK TO ME!!! That and I hope to just stay in Portland and explore it for all it is worth for a week. Present to myself. I do think I would like to live there...so who knows! I have a few weddings to go party at and shake some major tail with my favorites, which seriously rocks my socks. I do not so love weddings, but the dancing yes.

That and I hope to do a lot for myself financially, like get out of the major whole under a ton of water that I have managed to get myself into. ick! I hate it. Time to change.

SO, that is it. That is me today. It is rainy and I am at my parents enjoying some comforts and quiet, (and doing some free laundry) :)

Hopefully the funkyness will leave by tonight. Happy March!